Was Your Wedding Night As Magical As Mine?
Thug #1: So what did she say?Thus #2: I don't know man, she was all like, “I smell that shit, I smell it!” and I was like “bitch, please, I just fucked you!”–14th St Subway StationOverheard by: now i'm...
View ArticleLet's Just Run Through Traffic and Hope for the Best
Subway announcement: Service changes will affect the “d” as in “Darby” line and “v” as in “victim” line.Tourist mom to family: Honey, I don't think it's safe to take the subway, let's get out.–Prince...
View ArticleWhere She Can Buy a Paper Gown in One Of the Designer Boutiques
Guy #1: So did you take her to the hospital?Guy #2: Nah, man, I took her to Brooklyn.–Borough HallOverheard by: DRC
View ArticleNewsFlash: Cop Is Less Than Truthful. Film at 11.
Cop to woman who has just dropped something: Ma'am! (points)Woman: Oh! Thanks.Cop: Wait–was that cash?Woman: Yeah.Cop: Oh… that was already there.–Chambers Street StationOverheard by: Mader
View ArticleThe Most Helpful an MTA Employee Has Ever Been
Hobo: I need to get to Tokyo.MTA lady: Well, honey, go outside, make a left and take the 6 Uptown to Canal Street, cuz that's the closest you're ever gonna get.–City Hall StationOverheard by:...
View ArticleWednesday One-Liners Will Leave You Spellbound
Man on BlackBerry: Yeah, it's about a freaking partnership. And there's no "I" in partnership.–Washington Square ParkSubway announcer: There is a downtown b train approaching 96th Street. That is "b"...
View ArticleI Think I've Seen That Fisting Video…
MTA announcer: Ladies and gentleman, the next Brooklyn-bound L train will depart in approximately five minutes. The following Brooklyn-bound L train will depart in approximately fifteen minutesMTA...
View ArticleAll Aboard the HIV Express
Hot Girl: …and then gonorrhea. Yeah, I think that’s all I’ve had. Not as bad as I thought! –Union Square Station Overheard by: Greg Rutter
View ArticleAn Argument Against Homosexuality
Guy: You are a compelling argument against homosexuality. You are a very pretty girl. –72nd St Station
View ArticleOverheard Advice
Guy #1: So I’m not sure what to do. Guy #2: If you want to know something from somebody, get them drunk. –8th Street N/R Station
View ArticleWednesday One-Liners Express Themselves
Woman running down the stairs: Hold the doors! Oh, God, please hold the doors! Please! [Doors close, train pulls away.] Why? Whyyy?!–A trainOverheard by: Rose FoxHobo to man running for the train: You...
View ArticleHe Got Served…Literally!
Cop: Excuse me sir, did you drop this Metrocard? Asian guy: Oh thank you so much, I’ve been looking for it all over the place! Cop: You littered. Here’s your ticket. –Kew Gardens station Overheard by:...
View ArticleThey Prefer the Term “Mole People”
Construction worker #1: Make it look nice for the homeless here! Construction worker #2: Oh yeah! –Broadway/Lafayette station
View ArticleEverything but War and Straight Marriage Is Now Forbidden
Babysitter: Ok guys, hold my hand.Six-year-old boy: Holding hands is unnatural.Babysitter: What? Where did you hear that?Six-year-old boy: George Bush!Man walking ahead: Wow, he really does get blamed...
View ArticleWednesday One-Liners for the Fine Young Cannibals
Hipster: Everyone I know is either married, divorced, gay or crazy.–37th St, AstoriaOverheard by: Matthias SundbergKaraoke panhandler singing Gnarls Barkley: "Does that make me craaaaazy? Maybe I'm...
View ArticleWednesday One-Liners Still Resent Giuliani
Hobo, walking quickly around a lady: You cannot fuck with a power walker!–60th & 6thHobo on corner: Yo man, can I borrow like a hundred dollars plus tax?–Outside Gray's PapayaPanhandling teenager:...
View ArticleJuvenile Homicide: Not Fully Punishable
Round ghetto girl: Skateboardin': not cool.Skater: Childhood obesity: not cool.–125th St station Overheard by: Solar
View ArticleWednesday One-Liners Prefer Subway Sandwiches
Lost-looking chick on cell: Why do they always fuck with the trains on weekends? Don't they know there are stoned people trying to get home?–Subway Platform, Grand CentralOverheard by:...
View ArticleWednesday One-Liners Need a Better Bedside Manner
Guy: I can’t wait ’til I am finished with med school and I can start working as pediatric gynecologist.–Class, W4th & MercerGirl watching another use eye drops: Do you need some help with that? I’m...
View ArticleThe Beauty of Cantonese (A NYC Short Story)
Two Chinese men sit down on the bench next to a sleeping homeless man trying to sleep. Hobo: Ah, hell no! You’re not going to start having a conversation like that at 3 in the fuckin’ morning…I ain’t...
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