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Wednesday One-Liners Are Retaining Sperm

20-something woman on cell: I thought I was pregnant because I was nauseous all the time, but then I realized I was just always hungover. –111th & Broadway Overheard by: Ladle Guy to chick: What...

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Wednesday One-Liners Prefer Subway Sandwiches

Lost-looking chick on cell: Why do they always fuck with the trains on weekends? Don't they know there are stoned people trying to get home? –Subway Platform, Grand Central Overheard by: Poogtastic...

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They Prefer the Term “Mole People”

Construction worker #1: Make it look nice for the homeless here! Construction worker #2: Oh yeah! –Broadway/Lafayette station

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New York Women Know They're Beautiful

Techie in suit: I mean, there are two reasons. A: it's better.Meathead friend: Uh-huh.Techie: A: it's warmer.Meathead: Uh-huh.Techie: B: the women there are much more receptive to thinly veiled...

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…And How Did You Know?

Old, crazy-looking black dude: The problem, James, is that you’re letting pride go to your head! White college kid whose name probably isn’t James: Who are you? –Times Square station

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Plenty of Tricks Don’t Require Pants

Hobo: Do you have a dollar? Suit: Yes. Hobo: May I have it? Suit: Shouldn’t you do a trick first? Hobo: Fucker, I don’t even own pants! You want me to dance for that shit? –49th Street station...

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Wednesday One-Liners’ Hometowns Were Glad to See Them Go

Brit lady, to MTA booth lady: Two adults, please. We’ll be getting off around 58th Street. –14th St F station Overheard by: Fidget Tourist: Excuse me, does the F train stop here? –Subway sandwiches,...

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Unspoiled by Western Ways?

Tourist #1: We should visit Chinatown.Tourist #2: Why?Tourist #1: We can see real Chinese people in their natural habitat. –Subway station... Source

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There is No Transfer There There

Man #1: Oh no… Man #2: Can we go back to LA now? Woman: Please do. Source

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Let’s Just Run Through Traffic and Hope for the Best

Subway announcement: Service changes will affect the “d” as in “Darby” line and “v” as in “victim” line. Tourist mom to family: Honey, I don’t think it’s safe to take the subway, let’s get out. –Prince...

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